You know when you’re Stuck.
Everyday feels like you’re sinking deeper into the quicksand of life.
The more you struggle, the deeper you sink.
You’re not even sure how you got here: it was a slow decent but now you can’t move. You’re powerless, your breath comes in ragged gasps and you can’t see how the heck you’re going to be able to climb your way out. There are no life lines, no one else can save you, there are only slow painful actions that can save you from yourself.
I’ve been there darlings. Oh. My. God. Have I been there.
No matter what distances I travel and what obstacles I overcome, I think its natural to find yourself there every so often, both in business and in life. As I’m writing this I can feel my chest constricting, because this feeling of Stuckness is so real and so painful that I have to write about it in the hopes that I can help you move forward when you need it most.
Here’s the good news: I have found, and continue to find, that from those awful, frustrating depths of Stuck, comes the most magical progress and growth. Because only when it becomes too painful to stay where you are, do you get the courage to move forward.
Here is the method I use to unstuck myself. I call it the IGOBA method. Just rolls off the tongue right? 😂 Ha! Sorry. That’s just the way that cookie crumbled…
As is usual with my methods, I suggest a combination of soul and strategy, feminine and masculine energy.
One day I’m going to trademark that shiz.
[ Here’s a tasty tip for you: Step 5 is the magic bullet ]
🔍 Step 1: Identify
When you’re stuck, you’re probably sitting in your feminine feeling energy. Your thoughts and emotions are going round in circles and you can’t seem to make sense of any of it. It’s time to man up and tap into your masculine doing energy.
There’s a reason you feel stuck, and I encourage you to get to the bottom of that reason. Until you identify it and sit next to it at the coffee table, you won’t be able to befriend it and debunk it.
Usually when you’re stuck, it’s one (or all) of 3 things:
- You’re overwhelmed
You only see the mountain looming above you and aren’t sure how on earth to tackle it
- You’re scared
You’ve lost confidence in yourself and your abilities. It’s easier to hide than put yourself on the line
- You’re confused
You’re lacking clarity about what it is that you actually want, so instead you’re focussing on everything you DON’T want. (And probably attracting more of that) 😉
Know that whatever it is, it’s COMPLETELY natural to feel this way! Your subconscious is trained to keep you safe, it’s always going to yell at you when you’re venturing too far into the wilderness. It sends you warning voices that convince you that hiding in the cave is safer than venturing out with the lions.
But you know that this time, your subconscious is wrong (that doesn’t happen very often!). Fear isn’t required here. You know that the only way to grow and achieve your lofty goals is by taking actions towards them.
This is only going to hurt a little.
🏆 Step 2: Goals
Everything comes back to this, always. In order to achieve your goals, you actually need to have goals. Duh.
It’s important to note: I’m not talking about having a dream. Dreams are great, they’re keep us creatively raising the bar. But dreams remain dreams until you back them up with finite steps and actions. Goals make us accountable. But just because you set some goals a while back doesn’t mean that they’re still relevant. Things change, business changes, YOU change. As you grow and develop and evolve, so should your goals.
Your goals should be aligned with your highest values and don’t just have to relate to your business. They should relate to all areas of your life: your family, relationships, finances, development, spirituality, health. When these goals tie in and support each other, it’s easier to integrate them into your days.
You want your business to be a success. Why? Because then you can have financial freedom, you’ll be able to work around your family requirements and have the ability to go to gym in the middle of the day. Deeper spirituality will help your health, your business and your relationship… see where I’m going with this?
The key with setting goals is to keep them finite, achievable and within a specific time-frame. Focus on the outcome, not all the things that it will take to get there.
I would suggest setting 3-6 month goals to keep them manageable and accountable.
e.g.: Make $3000 in my business by June. Lose 3kg in 2 months.
🎈 Step 3: Openness
So, this is where it gets interesting, as you shift back into your feminine energy.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in this process of being stuck, is that sometimes you need to stop fighting the quicksand.
We’re so used to moving and thrashing and pushing forward, that often we can’t see that the best thing we could do is to just stop. Wait. Listen. Sometimes through the quiet we can hear the answer in the wind. Sometimes the answer was in front of us all this time, we had just stopped seeing the faint outlines of possibility.
It takes a huge amount of courage to shift your mindset and energy from control to surrender. Not only courage, but trust and faith in yourself and the timing of the universe.
By writing down your goals, you’ve put in your request with the universe. You’ve outlined what it is you’re after, you’ve ticked the boxes and laid down the law. These are important steps, but they aren’t the only ones. We don’t always know what is best of us… sometimes you have to allow some room for magic.
There is ALWAYS magic involved when you partner with the alchemy of the universe.
“The universe has much bigger plans for you than you ever dreamed of for yourself”
– Deepak Chopra
Trust. Believe. Surrender.
And now work for it.
✋🏽 Step 4: Boundaries
Back in the masculine energy. When it comes to working consistently towards your goals and getting yourself out of the quicksand, you need minimal distractions. You know what they are, and it’s time to start saying NO.
No to time-wasters.
No to energy sappers.
No to mundane conversations that don’t light you up.
No to people and duties that demand your time and attention. They no longer serve you. ‘Bye Felicia.
You are the only one who is going to get you to where you want to be, and you have to set yourself up for success. You need boundaries upon boundaries, and you need to make you and your goals your main priority. So, unless it’s a HELL YES! It’s a NO.
You don’t need to justify yourself, NO is a complete sentence.
💃🏻 Step 5: Action
Be. In. Action.
I cannot stress that enough. Your goals are NOTHING without showing up everyday in any kind of way. This is the exact point that my Stuckness shifts to Progress.
I can spend days in the depths of the quicksand lambasting about how deep and dark it is, and how I have all of the dreams and listen to all the podcasts and write all of the stuff in the journal and why can’t I get myself out of this ditch?
Well darling, you can think and wish and dream and write all you want, but until you take one, JUST ONE step towards your goal, then you are no different to anyone else. You are a dreamer with a dream and that is all.
The easiest way to be in action is to trick yourself into it. Wake up in the morning and before you get the chance to talk yourself out of it, take one tiny step towards your goals. Start with the smallest, easiest thing on you to do list – and you guessed it – DO IT. Tick that shit off. Prove to your mind that you are a doer, not a dreamer.
Find things that shift you and get you into the high vibrational space that helps you overcome doubt and Stuckness. For me it’s intense cardio, listening to inspiring podcasts (Impact Theory is great for this), and if all else fails, turn on your favorite air-punching ass shaking song and DANCE! Move, sing, shout and shift yourself into the mindset that you need.
And the best part? The more you Do The Things, and Achieve The Goals, the easier it gets. You start feeling better, your self-worth will increase and soon you’ll forget all about your fears and your quicksand because you’ve moved so far away from it. You’re debunking your doubts and fears everyday by just DOING.
Remember that momentum is exponential, and the Universe is paying attention.
If you need a useful resource, to kick yourself in the derrièr, watch this video: Mel Robbins’ 5 Second Rule
I’m Pam Newman, founder of The Branded Panda. I help women like you create soul-based businesses that give them income and freedom to truly LIVE.
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